Mornings are the best and the worst part of the day. We're early risers anyway but with day light savings and unfamiliar beds we're really early risers. I think we were up at 4:00 this morning thanks to my regular check up from the nurse. It's the best to be just us for a bit in the quiet room. Talking about anything. This morning is was the election and work for Jesse. We can sit together and forget where we are for a while. 13wham whispering in the background just like always.
This morning Jesse took me for a wheelchair ride. He had to get some things from the car so he pushed me down to the lobby. Its nice to get out of the room especially when the halls and elevators are empty. I was so excited at the thought of getting a coffee but we were so early that the coffee shop wasn't even open. On our way we passed the nursery where there were three babies under the lights. They didn't look terribly sick, just sleeping under the lights. And I lost it. I've seen babies like that before but it's different now. Any day now it could be my baby.
It surprised me how much this quiet morning scene affected me. I've always been one to face the facts. I watch when my blood is drawn. I want to see where I'm going. These damn hormones! That is why mornings are also the worst. Morning is when I have to say good-bye to Jesse. I have yet to do it with a dry eye. I'm fine, we are fine, baby is safe in my belly and unless I get a prolapsed cord(When the umbilical cord falls out of me requiring immediate cesarean) Jesse would be able to get here in time to be with me during labor. These damn hormones! I feel like a toddler being left with a babysitter. I'm fine... as soon as the door clicks shut.
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